Letters from Clara
Clara Blanca Friederike von Schmalensee was the third daughter of FFL and his second wife. She was born in Gross-Paglau in 1854. Due to the family’s financial situation, Clara, too, was forced to work in several different positions before finding a place with the Karbe family in Adamsdorf. There she helped to run and manage the estate and she remained there for many years. After the death of Frau Karbe, Clara married the owner of the estate, Arnold Karbe, in 1889. Although he was 29 years her senior, it appears to have been a very happy marriage. He passed away in 1897. In 1899, Clara married her second husband, Royal Prussian Cavalry Captain Ernst Karl Hermann Christoph von Blücher, born in 1860 and owner of the estate in Wolkow in Pomerania. After her husband died in 1917, she signed over the estate in Wolkow to his nephew. She lived there with him and his wife for several years until she passed away in 1928.
Recknitz, September 23, 1877
My dear, good Blanka!
I thank you so very much for the money, which I have received, my only good sister. I promise you that I will spend it quite sparingly and wisely. Auntie says I should tell you not to worry about me. If Emmy does not find me a position, then she [Auntie] will try to find a job for me. Until then I can stay with her. So, if Emmy doesn’t write to say she has found a position for me, then I will remain here for the time being. But I really don’t want to do that, because now another young girl is coming here and I am always reminded of how much I am not needed here. I’m really very angry with Emmy. If only she hadn’t gotten my hopes up so much, I would have looked for a position right here. Auntie is also rather angry with her and says that she wouldn’t let me travel to such an irresponsible woman. She loves me far too much for that. Auntie has offered for me to stay here with her. I did not tell her about your wishes. She would like to keep me here in Mecklenburg. She said that I would then be near to you and her, as well, which is really quite sweet of her. I should ask you if you would be agreeable if she were to look for a position for me.
Please write to me as soon as possible about this, and whether I should write Emmy and tell her that she should stop her efforts on my behalf. Yet, I keep thinking that Emmy will write to me any day now. I just can’t believe that she would make me a promise she couldn’t keep. I can imagine how hard it will be for you to leave Waldheim and to give up having your own home to run for such a long time, that cannot make you very happy either. But, later when you have a nice household again, and if you should then need me to help you, it would be my pleasure to come to you and make your life quite cozy and comfortable. I really don’t want to get married anymore if I can be with you, my sweet angel. But, first I must and want to find a position. You cannot imagine how much this troubles me to still be a burden to Müllers. They’re so very frugal, I worry about every bite of food I take. Oh, if only Emmy would find something for me, I would be happy with anything. Please write to me quite soon, so that I have a little consolation. But now I have no more time to write, I always have so much to do.
Sending you loving kisses
Your faithful
sister Clara.
Just now received this letter from Emmy. I leave here on Friday and will be in Friederikenthal on Saturday. Auntie also just received your dear letter. As you can see from the previous, she had already intended to keep me. But it’s so much better that I have a position now. Farewell, my sweet Blanka, in the coming days please keep in your thoughts your true, loving
Sister.
Onednau near Königsberg, October 7, 1877
My dear, good Papa!
I would have liked to have written to you sooner, but I was unable to as I have had so much to do of late. As you have probably already heard, I am back here in East Prussia again, in a parsonage where I am doing very well so far. Everyone seems to like me so much that I am really so very happy. Of course, I have a lot to do here, as there are seven children living in the house, but everything is made very easy for me. I am treated so very kindly. The eldest daughter is 16 years old, a very nice girl. In general, the children are very well raised and nice. This letter has been lying on my desk for eight days now. I had no time to write because the children are always bothering me when I try to take care of my correspondence. On October 10th, I was in Friederickenthal for Grau’s birthday and Mama asked me to write to you, so that you don’t worry about me. I hope she also has done the same, and that she has asked you to send me my blankets because the blankets here are rather poor and quite thin, and I have caught a terrible cold as a result. Please send them as soon as possible, otherwise I will not get rid of this terrible cough. Graus are really very nice, good people. Emmy is very motherly towards me, I’m very happy that I’m so close by her. It’s such a very different feeling to have relatives nearby. There is not an awful lot around here. Frau Fieker is a very nice, but also very demanding woman. But, I hope will be able to cope with her, that is, if she does not ask too much of me that is beyond my abilities. The farewell from Recknitz was very difficult for me, especially when I saw how hard it was for Müllers to say goodbye. You cannot imagine how much Frau Präpositus cried. A few days ago, I received a very kind letter from her, in which she expressed how much she misses me. She does not seem to be very satisfied with the young girl who is there now. Müllers have told me to view their house as my home. I can always come to them any time I wish; they will always welcome me with open arms. Isn’ that sweet? I would like to hear from you again soon, my dear Papa, about whether you will go to America or remain here. I think about you a lot. I am very happy about Curt, I think the dear Lord has been keeping him under his protection and will continue to do so. I want to write Anna for her birthday, although she doesn’t deserve it; I assume you have seen her. Mama is very fit and well, but obviously a burden for Graus. She is still the same as she used to be, but now cannot afford to complain. I have survived my journey quite well, but you can imagine how hard it was on me, though. I haven’t much time to write today, I need to finish two other letters and in such a short time. Farewell, my good Papa, and write soon.
Your
very loving
daughter Clara
Adamsdorf, near Lippehne,
June 9th, 1878
My dear good Papa!
I cannot tell you how incredibly happy I was to finally hear something from you again. I read your dear letters with the greatest interest, but how unfortunate it was that I couldn’t keep them; it was rather hard for me to send them back to Mama. The description of your journey was so very nice. How sad that I could not accompany you, but last night I was with you my dreams. You have already heard from Blanka that I’m doing so very well here. Oh, I am so happy here in my beautiful Adamsdorf, especially since I also feel so loved. Frau Karbe is also very amiable towards me. I have never heard an unkind word or reproach from her, and yet I have been here for half a year now. Living here is like paradise compared to Recknitz. Frau K. has been in Carlsbad for 5 weeks now and Herr K. joined her 14 days ago, and they will return on June 16th. In this long time, I have had to keep house all by myself. I do have another, very amiable young girl in my company here, but I am already looking forward to Karbes’ return so very much. The separation from Frau Karbe was also quite difficult for me, I love her like a mother. Actually, I was rather worried about managing this big place all by myself for six weeks. Frau K. had so much confidence in me and felt I that would handle everything better than she herself would. Everything has gone quite well, and I can now await them with deep joy. I was so very pleased about the note you put in Blanka’s letter for me. You have very noble wishes for me, my dear father. Everyone hopes I find a good man to marry, but they do not consider whether I would also be a suitable housewife. I always think the gentlemen must always see it written on my face what a little whirlwind I am. But it’s too late for me to change, I am going to stay the way I am. In this area here I am always treated most graciously. I receive invitations from all the houses where my predecessors were never invited, but Karbes have also made sure that I have a very good reputation. Blanka actually writes quite often to me. If only her troubles were already behind her. I already worry a great deal about her. The dear Lord will hopefully protect her. Anna hasn’t written me yet, but claims to have ‘noble’ intention of doing so. I think it’s so terrible to so completely shut out the family, perhaps she will now realize this also. If she writes to me, I will also answer her very kindly. Mama rarely writes; my laziness may have a lot of to do with that, but she is well. We will probably hear from Curt soon, I haven’t heard from him for so long. I think my dear Father will also surprise me with a letter. I am hoping in my heart that such a dear letter will perhaps arrive for my birthday. Oh, how happy that would make me. Frau Karbe’s birthday is 16 days after mine. I am already organizing gifts for her quite diligently. I am often embarrassed by how many gifts I always receive here. The assassination attempt on our good old Kaiser was so terrible; we should really feel ashamed as Germans. I think God has the old man under his special protection. Please, my good Father, if you write to me, tell me quite a lot about your life there. You cannot imagine how much all of this interests me. Your letters cannot be long enough for me. Unfortunately, I cannot get such fine paper here, things are the same for me as for Blanka, otherwise I would write you so much more. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you are quite well. I am glad with that you are still so cheerful, it helps one to endure difficulties; I think I inherited this quality from you. My health has improved again. I was suffering so much for a while that Karbes wanted to take me to Carlsbad, but the Mecklenburg doctor has quite strictly forbidden it, as it would be far too hard on me. Take great care of your health, my dear Father, so that we can enjoy the happiness of having you in our midst once more. May God also continue to protect you and in that distant land also keep in your thoughts
your most loving daughter Clara
Adamsdorf, March 2, 1879
My dear, good Papa!
A few days ago, I received your dear letter, which delighted me greatly yet also saddened me deeply. It was worded so very sadly. You believe that we have all completely forgotten you, yet nothing could be further from the truth. I had written you a long letter for your birthday, but I must not have written the address quite correctly, as it was returned to me 14 days ago. I am deeply sorry for this, because I was certain you would get it by your birthday. In that letter I wrote to you about Blanka and her sweet boy. I was there with her in Carbow for three weeks this autumn. The little one was baptized at the age of three weeks and has been named Johann Georg. He was born on August 18th and weighed almost 8 pounds. Blanka has recovered from everything quite well, and after three weeks she was almost as healthy as before. The boy is a beautiful child, very strong, and Blanka’s greatest joy. In every letter she writes glowingly of her boy, what he can already do and how he has gained weight and grown. When it comes to writing, Blanka is even lazier than she used to be, and blames it on her son. I am still doing very well here. Karbes are such good people. I just think they are spoiling me too much. I live so happily and carefree, and my daily life is most comfortable. When I got here, I received a salary of 80 talers. But after three months, the Karbes began to pay me 100 talers, stating I have done more for them than anyone else. Blanka knows that I am getting 100 talers, but I didn’t write this to Friederickenthal, otherwise Emmy would lay claim to the 20 talers for Mama. I really need the money, as I couldn’t get things like undergarments in Recknitz, and now I need so many other things, especially because Karbes want me to be well dressed at all times. They themselves keep giving me the most beautiful things. For Christmas they got me a lovely little fur and a gorgeous ballgown, as well as so many other things. I am participating in many social events, even a lovely private ball, where I danced a lot. I have plenty admirers, but I won’t be thinking about marriage any time soon. I live such a happy and carefree life, and who knows if things would remain as good as they are now if I were to marry? So far, no one has softened my heart. I think you become immune when you are so adored. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if I didn’t marry. – I’ll do well in this world regardlessly.
I haven’t heard from Anna in a long time, and I cannot say whether she still is working in the same job, as she hasn’t written to me since November. Curt was in Hamburg in October. Karbes invited him to come, but he declined, as he would soon be leaving for India. I think it was such a shame, since he won’t be coming back any time soon. I read that the old Count Lysar died before Christmas. Dear Father, you won’t believe how often I think of you and how much I would like to be by your side, but there is no other way and we must accept it. You mustn’t despair, my old Father, and write that you wish to die. What a horrible thing to say! That is nothing you should write to your children in Europe, and you won’t be dying any time soon. I expect you would to want to see us again. I am happy, however, that you are well, which I can also say about myself. I am feeling rather fine at the moment and my strength is returning, and everyone envies my rosy cheeks. Now I have written you a fair amount and hope that you are satisfied. If letters weren’t so expensive, I would write you a whole stack of them. Thank you
Side note, page 4: for your letter, I recently had to give [GAP] and for the returned one 20 [GAP], a large [burden] for my finances.
Side note, page 3: I kept the flower petals. How nice it must be to always have so much sunshine. I really don’t like the winter.
Side note, page 2: I was in Recknitz this autumn and received a very warm welcomed. They would have loved to have kept me there.
Side note, page 1: But for now, farewell. May God place you under His special protection, your faithful daughter Clara sends you a thousand kisses.
Adamsdorf, July 8, 1880
My dear, good Daddy!
As your letter was the first to arrive for my birthday, you should now also be the first to receive an answer. Your dear letter arrived here two days before my birthday and delighted me indescribably. My letter to you must have been lost, because I most certainly answered the letter I received from you on New Year’s Day, and I was very surprised that I did not receive a letter from you. Of course, I could have written to you again in that time, I clearly admit my error and ask my dear Father to not be angry with me anymore. Curt’s picture was just too wonderful, everyone else who sees also it thinks so too. I was indescribably pleased about the picture and give you my deepest thanks for it. I will also write a letter to Curt, which I would ask you to send to him. I want to make the dear boy happy. I am really so very proud of my brother. We look remarkably similar according to his picture, that is what people here say. Everyone who sees it says that that must be my brother! How pleased you must have been to have Curt with you after such a long separation. I can imagine how proud my father was of his son, especially when many eyes saw how handsome he is. I am sincerely glad that you had such a joyful heart again. If only I could give you such heartfelt joy, my good Papa. Indeed, but what can I do to achieve this? If I were nearer to you, I would do everything I could to please you. I think the greatest joy for you so far away would be if I took a husband. This really is not so easy, believe me, “all things come to those who wait.”
Many have courted me, more often than I would like, because this can also be torture. But I will not take the first good one who comes along. I prefer to find a very kind man who makes me happy! It is also very good not to marry so young. It is better to first give the matter consideration, and then one is already used to running a household. I feel so indescribably happy here at Karbes, a daughter couldn’t have it any better. Frau Karbe and I are like friends. I can tell her anything that is weighing on my heart and vice versa. Frau Karbe is never in a bad mood, she is always friendly and cheerful. Life here is just so nice. We also have very nice contacts here, you would not believe how kindly I have been received by everyone in the area. People are really just too kind to me. Karbes have only one son who has been married for three years, but not to someone of my taste, and I don’t think to Karbes’ taste either. She doesn’t have very fine manners, as one expects here, and does not really appreciate the love her in-laws show her, (but that is just between you and me). The young Karbes already have 4 little girls, twins twice. Never a dull moment! ——-
Karbes had a daughter who died as a child. Adamsdorf is a very nice manor. Herr Karbe is a very capable and reputable farmer. The garden is quite lovely, very large. It is on a very large lake, on which you can travel by gondola to the neighboring family. We get in from our garden and sail back there to the garden. We also have twelve swans on our lake. But now my page is already full, I may not use another, otherwise the letter will be too thick. Old Herr Präpositus died in the winter. His wife is beside herself; she has asked me to visit her, but Karbes could not let me go. What do you have to say about the death of Hermione Malzen, née Ferber?
Side note, page 4: It is just too sad that she died so young. Blanka will soon travel to Melz with the little one for 7-8 weeks. Her
Side note, page 3: mother-in-law is still inconsolable about the death of her daughter. The first address in Dresden is Bautzner Str. 80 Neustadt. On my birthday, I received so many
Side note, page 2: kind letters, unfortunately only a very short one from Anna. If only she could find some peace and satisfaction. Mama is doing well, she wrote me a very nice, long letter. My health
Side note, page 1: is also quite fine, I am so fresh and lively; a lot is being done here to see to that. But now my good father I can no longer find any more room on this page. You should be satisfied with your
(daughter). Sending you a thousand heartfelt kisses from your faithful child, Clara
Top of page 3: I was quite cheerful and happy on my birthday and again received an abundance of gifts.
Top of page 2: I can only use a half of a page for Curt, otherwise the letter will be too thick.
Bottom of page 1: But you must not even think that you are so old, you can still live for many years!
Adamsdorf, 9th July (18)80
My dear good Curt!
I was indescribably happy to hear something from you again. I think you will be equally as happy to receive a letter from me after such a long time and hear that I am doing very well. We haven’t seen each other for so very long, my dear Curt. Two years ago, I was so looking forward to having you here for a few weeks, but you unfortunately couldn’t come. If you return to Europe, your first stop must be here. You will receive the warmest welcome here. Karbes also ask about you often and would so like to get to know you. They are even more interested in you now, especially as they have seen your dear picture. I was too happy to receive that picture, my dear, dear brother. My heartfelt thanks and an intimate kiss for this! If I have another good picture taken of myself, you will surely get one from me. There is such a strong resemblance between the two of us in your picture. How wonderful! I did miss seeing a hint of a beard on your face. Do you think you’ll be able to grow one? Just be patient! What a nice time you must have had with our father. I think it was so very good of you to visit him in America. Bless you for it, because you made Papa so very happy. Papa wrote me so much about you, but you know it’s just not enough. I want to hear so much more from you. If your time allows, please write to me; it would make me so very happy. Our sister Anna also wants to go to Milwaukee. I would like to see that Papa always has one of his children with him. But the means are so difficult to get. Although Blanka would like to give something, she really cannot. Her father-in-law is so peculiar and keeps a tight rein on his son’s finances. Believe me, Blanka, as well as August must endure so many hardships. But unfortunately I must close here, otherwise the letter to Papa will be too thick. The next time I write to Papa I will also add a
Side note, page 2: page for you. Farewell, my good brother, may God continue to protect you as he has done so far. Think of me once in a while, as I always think of you with heartfelt love!
Side ntoe, page 1: Sending you a thousand greetings and kisses, your faithful loving sister, Clara.
Adamsdorf, October 10, 1880
My dear, good sweet Papa!
My most heartfelt congratulations on your upcoming birthday. May this coming year be a very, very happy one for you. May you always be healthy and reach a ripe old age! These are my sincere wishes that I have for you, my dear little Papa!
In my heart, of course, I hold many more wishes for you, which I may not speak out loud, but the main wish is that we should to see each other once again in this life. I hope that if it is in any way possible for Curt, he will be with you on your birthday. A sailor certainly may not count on his wishes coming true, but if it could be so, how much I would rejoice for your soul. My thoughts will be with you so very much on your birthday, yes, so very much. I give you a very warm birthday kiss in spirit. I am still doing very, very well. Karbes are such dear people, I do not feel at all like I am living in a stranger’s house. I am treated like a daughter. All my wishes, even the smallest ones, are fulfilled. I do feel I am being spoiled too much. Currently, I am all alone here at home, Karbes have been travelling for ten days. They would have liked to take me with them, but I am needed here to supervise the house. Our household is rather large and many people are not trustworthy. I really feel abandoned right now, but half of the time is already over. One day after Karbes’ departure I found a cardboard box on which Frau Karbe had written “to comfort you in my absence.” What do I find? A very beautiful white silk scarf. Wasn’t that sweet of her? I was so very happy, also because I had lost just such a scarf some time ago, which I really regretted. To show her my gratitude, I am painting cards for Frau Karbe to use for stationery. I have already finished 22. Karbes’ daughter-in-law taught me how to paint this summer. I really enjoy it, and I am told I do it well. I have so much time on my hands and can practice a great deal. I am expecting letters from the siblings any day now. I recently had a letter from Anna after such a long time. I feel she is and always will be an odd girl. When she does finally write, her letters are always so brief, the words are spread out so wide that not much is actually written. It is strange how much she shirks her responsibility. I always write her long letters, telling her how I am doing. Believe me, my dear Papa, Anna never seems to be able to settle down. It doesn’t matter how good her position is, she never is able to stick it out. In her last letter, she complained that she believed I was going to find her a position here in our area. If I’m honest, I would be embarrassed to have Anna here. My position would suffer as a result. Believe me, dear Papa, Blanka is unable to come up with the means for Anna’s trip to America. They must live so frugally to get by; the old man gives them nothing. She may not incur debts on Anna’s behalf. If I were Blanka, I couldn’t bear to ask my husband for money, especially for a sister who acts so unsisterly. It was really hard for me to pass your letter on to Blanka, especially since I knew what grief it would cause her. She already has enough to bear! Blanka hasn’t written a syllable about your letter to me. I don’t know what she’s done about it, but I do know that she cannot get the money. Please do not be angry with me for writing so openly about it, but I consider it my duty.
Side note, page 4: Anna will have to get through life one way or another. I must also live among strangers; it always depends on whether or not one is able to find one’s place in the world.
Side note, page 3: To Curt, my most cordial greetings. His dear letter made me so very happy; he is such a good a boy. Now farewell,
Side note, page 2: my dear Papa. I am looking forward to another letter from you. Your faithful daughter Clara sends you the most heartfelt kisses.
Side note, page 1: I haven’t had a letter from Mama in a long time. Emmy had another baby girl. Children are such a blessing . —
[1889?]
My beloved Kurt!
I was absolutely horrified to learn of your accident today. I implore you to ensure that nothing like this ever happens to you again. God be praised that you luckily avoided disaster. This is the second time that Death has reached out for you. May God protect you forever more, my beloved brother! I received your kind letter, dear Kurt, and thank you very much for it. It made me so very happy, but I only wished you would have delighted me with a more thorough description of what you have been up to. The post office can convey longer letters just as easily as short ones, and I am interested in everything that relates to you, dear Kurt. Mama might have already written to you that we have had Anna here since the first of February, and that I am doing all I can to prevent her from going to Magdalenenstift. You can imagine how expensive this year will be for me when I tell you the harvests have been so sparse these last few years, and that to live properly and respectably, we have had be extremely frugal given our large family. But as long as I still have one single penny, I will gladly share it with my brothers and sisters who need it. And my kind husband thinks the same as rarely anyone else would. I only regret, my dear Kurt, that our hopes of having you here with us for a while before you went to sea were dashed. We would have gotten to know each other better. But I hope that if you ever come to Europe, you will not fail to come see us! Unfortunately, Mama has been very frail for some time. God knows how much longer she will live. It would break my heart to lose her, because you only have one mother in this life. If you should have a few pennies left over, make her happy and send them to her, Kurt, even though, God willing, we will see to it that she will never be in need. Still, it would make her so very happy to receive something from likely the only son she has left. Now, my good, dear Kurt, I must close. I hope you will write me again and this time more extensively.
Side note: I hold you in my heart and ask God to keep you safe and grant you good fortune. With heartfelt greetings from my husband, your faithful sister
C.K.
Adamsdorf, January 25, 1881
My dear, good sweet Papa!
You have been waiting a while to receive a letter from me. Yes, every day I wrote a long letter to you in my mind, but in reality, it was not possible for me. I kept putting off my letter, as I had thought I could reveal a sweet secret to you. As long as I have been here in Adamsdorf, I have known a young man whom I adore. I tried to keep him out of my mind, because I thought, “He’s not thinking about you, he can have anyone he wants.” But whenever I saw him, my heart would beat faster. I began to notice how his eyes were only on me, that he did not pay attention to the other young girls, and he always tried to sit by my side. We often played that courting game, which he often lost and I would then receive lovely gifts from him. Then last year his father died, leaving two beautiful manors, but accompanied with a very peculiar will. In the will he bequeathed everything to his wife, with which she could then do whatever she wanted later. Max is their only son, but there are also two daughters who are already married. He paid in a very decent amount of capital earlier and had the rest entered on the manors. Max is to get both manors. He lives with his mother and helps her run things. In my opinion, his father acted very wrongly towards his son, who is a very excellent man, but who has been rather oppressed by the father. After his father’s death, Max openly showed his love for me. I still had my doubts because I really couldn’t believe I could be so lucky. I thought he could still find someone else whom he liked even more. Everyone thought we were already secretly engaged. Many were happy for us, but others were also less kind. Shortly before Christmas, once again we held a soirée where he played that courting game with me twice and lost quite intentionally, I clearly knew it. Shortly afterwards he sent me a lovely gift with forget-me-nots. Now, I was convinced that he was serious. On New Year’s Day, he invited us to come for lunch. I will never forget that day, it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. He was always by my side, oftenn held my hand, only had eyes for me the whole the time, and was attentive to me in such a way that I alone realized just how warmly he meant it. It is hard to describe to you, my Father, words cannot express it. I can only feel it. Our annual hunt was on the 7th, to which we had both looked so forward. Unfortunately, we did not spend as much time together as we had hoped, but on that day, he poured out his whole heart to Frau Karbe’s nephew about how much he loved me. The nephew said he should get engaged that very day, but he felt it was not fitting to do it during the hunt. I have complete trust in Frau Karbe; she told me everything she heard. The nephew told her everything he knew. Oh, I was so indescribably happy at the thought that “he loves you.” We knew he would come calling very soon, but there was an accident during the hunt, another gentleman shot him through both legs. You can now probably imagine how afraid and concerned I was. It was not as simple an injury as we had first thought. He has now been ill for 14 days and is in a great deal of pain. He has five wounds and a few days ago a piece of cloth came out of one of them. He caught a cold from the many compresses he was given, which then turned into pneumonia. I am now so worried about whether or not he will get better, I haven’t seen him in such a long time. Oh, if only I were allowed to take care of him! We often receive news from Reknitz. Frau Themel writes often, today another messenger was sent there. Herr Karbe has also travelled there often. Karbes are so happy for me; they wish tjhis for both of us because they love my Max and hold him in high regard. He has is tall with a pleasant, open face, dark hair and a very nice beard.
(February 22nd.)
My letter to you, my dear Father, has had to wait for a long time. I could not write any more, as we have received such terrible news about my Max. Can you believe his life is still in danger? I would not wish on any human being what I have been through, and whatever comes, I have long been prepared for the worst, but I am still hoping for God’s gracious help. It would be too hard for me to lose this man, whom I adore. It simply cannot be! If he dies, I will gladly die too, then we will be together forever. He has been in Augusta Hospital in Berlin for three weeks. He was transported there with the worst fever of 40-41 C. The other day, he had to undergo a terrible operation. It is now believed that he has severe sepsis, since abscesses have formed in different places on his leg, which must then be lanced. He is suffering terribly. The family sends us news about the patient very often. Herr Karbe is also in Berlin now. Yesterday we got a letter from him. He had already planned to see the patient if it is possible. When he arrived at the hospital, the patient’s mother asked him to step out of the room and they talked for five minutes in the corridor. His mother said that no one is allowed to visit him; the doctors have strictly forbidden it. Suddenly the head nurse came out of the hospital room and said that the patient is already so restless because his mother was away for so long. He asked if Herr Karbe was also outside, that he must see him under any circumstances, at least to shake his hand and say a few words to him. Herr K. then entered the room; Max looked at him so kindly, squeezed his hands so intimately and kissed him. He asked about things back home and said to tell us hello. Herr K. stayed with him just a few minutes, because he was not permitted to do so longer. But he did leave the hospital more satisfied than he had entered it. In a few days he wants to make another attempt to see him again. If he recovers, it will probably be half a year before he can leave the hospital. Oh, I want to wait so patiently. If only he gets healthy again! Karbes have been so lovely to me during this time, as you can imagine. I’ll never be able to thank them enough! Your last dear letter also made me so very happy, my dear Daddy. You and Curt are well, that makes me very happy. I would have loved to write to Curt for his birthday but I just could not; this letter is also written for him. I am also mailing this to him because I don’t have your address. What I wrote to you here is also written only for you, only Blanka knows everything, as well. She bears my joys and sufferings with me!! Anna is now at Emmy’s. All of her things were stolen in Warsaw. She came to Friederickenthal with almost nothing. I have now shipped a big box full of my things to her. I could only send what I could spare as well as five marks for expenses, I couldn’t give more. So, what is going to become of her? Couldn’t you both use her in America? Because she cannot cope here. She now intends to go to England. I think the idea is nonsense, because young girls are treated very badly in England; she won’t survive there. You will probably receive a letter from Blanka soon, I sent her your address a few days ago. Things are not rosy for that poor soul. Please write me again soon, a letter from you would be a consolation in my misery.
For you and Curt an intimate kiss from your faithful daughter, Clara.
Adamsdorf, May 5, 1881
My dear, dear little Curt!
Today you shall have a really long letter from me. I have owed you one for too long. You, poor brother, have suffered a great deal. The dear Lord has protected you in such a wonderful way: We cannot thank him enough for this. I also hope that your beauty has not suffered: A huge beard will probably soon probably cast a shadow over your mouth and cover the scars. Hopefully the doctors left your nose on straight. You’ll probably think, “she’s teasing me.” But no, I must tell you how it saddened me so very deeply when I received Papa’s letter, and I cried bitterly. Even though you were already out of danger, it really pained me to know that you had suffered. You have now probably forgotten all about it again and are working diligently. What type of job do you have now? Papa hasn’t written to me yet. Please, my dear Curt, please write to me very soon and tell me quite a lot about yourself. Papa promised me a letter from you. I’m really so proud of my brother Curt. You are regaling our dear Papa with all of your stories now and are a joy to him in his old age. Moreover, my dear Curt, it will bring you many blessings. My heart will always beat for you with the greatest love and gratitude, because I know what joy you are bringing to our dear old father. We haven’t seen each other in so long. I think it’s been over five years since you were in Recknitz. You will have changed so much. If you would appear unexpectedly before us today, I would still recognize you immediately. I gaze at your dear picture very often. I will have probably changed a lot. I have become old and wrinkled. If I have the money, you will also get a picture of me. But then don’t be frightened, old maids are never pretty and are very curmudgeonly. This happens with age! As you will have heard from Papa, I’m doing very, very well here in Adamsdorf. I am treated just like a daughter in this house and am being absolutely spoiled. The Karbes are charming and have told me often that they look upon me as their daughter. Often a daughter does not have it as good with her parents as I have here. They stand by me in my joy and sorrow with the greatest love. I never hear an unkind word from them, not even the slightest criticism. I can do no wrong. They feel I work too hard, and any handiwork I do is praised. In short, I don’t think I could find such a good position again. My salary here is 100 talers, but the gifts they give me far exceed 100 talers. Only the best is good enough for me. I am often so ashamed. A few days ago, Karbes gave me a pair of charming earrings made of matt gold with blue forget-me-nots because one of mine had broken. You can see what good people they are. Yesterday I received a letter from Emmy, in which she wrote that Anna has finally left for London, where she has accepted a position with a family named Dittrige. How long do you think she will likely last there? She has now traveled half the world. Whatever will become of her? I have completely broken with her because of her lies and gossiping. I believe honesty is the best policy in this world. But now my page is already full, and I can’t use another one because that is reserved for Papa. I will be writing him also with you in mind. Feel free to read his letter, too. Many intimate
Side note: kisses from your faithful sister, Clara
Adamsdorf, May 6, 1881
My dear, good sweet Papa!
You have probably waited a long time again for a letter from me. Your last dear letter brought me such distressing news about our dear Curt. Thank the Lord that He protected him so well. My last letter also brought you a lot of turmoil. Today, I look happily again to the future, although my sweet love is not yet completely well again. But I do hope that he will be again in the course of this summer. He is still in the hospital, but has been able to stand in the last fourteen days. He also made his first attempt to walk a few days ago. He recently wrote to Herr Karbe that he will be able to go to Wiesbaden in fourteen days. Oh, I am so happy that he has made such progress. I was already so despondent at the thought of losing him. Then I would have died with him. It’s possible that his knee will remain stiff, and I have heard that the thought of this distresses him greatly. But this thought does not bother me for a moment. I will love him all the more for it. Frau Karbe visited him in the hospital a few days ago and wrote the following about him: “From 2:30 to 3:30 p.m., I was with the patient. At 3 o’clock I wanted to leave — he asked me to stay. Max had just gone to bed, he sat up more than he lay – appeared friendly and lucid and was extremely happy to see me. He acted very astonished that all of us hadn’t come and reiterated that several times. I thought you would all be here, all of you. He seemed disappointed. He then said that Walther (our and his general practitioner) had written, read me a letter from Frau Treibel (his aunt), then the letter written by Walther who wrote that we personally inquired about his wellbeing – mentioned our names and when he said yours – he gazed right through me with a kind and blissful look, opened his large eyes wide while speaking and closed them again. That look told me a lot. My warmest regards to everyone, everyone! (he said last) He should try to walk again today, because the heel [is] a bit better. When he stretches the knee, with all the exercises the knee swells terribly every day – but the swelling goes away once he lies down again. His servant sat the entire time behind his bed and that is why he did not speak of you.” The mother is well-disposed towards me. His brother-in-law Lange, however, is not and is making every attempt to keep us apart. Max, however, does not listen to his brother-in-law, and they don’t like each other. Max has told me many times that he always does the opposite of what Lange says. Herr Karbe told me yesterday that he will travel to Berlin in fourteen days and will talk openly with Max about the matter. Herr Karbe felt he owed me that much. I consented, and so we will have to wait and see what the next time brings. I am certain of his love. After all, he is old enough to have a will of his own. Herr Karbe said that Lange hopes his brother-in-law finds a stupid wife. A clever one would then have too much power in Recknitz, and then Lange would be completely out of the picture, and Lange wants to have sole control. I am unable to write it all down, but the relationships there are so strange. But I believe I will be able to stand up to them there, and my sweet Max Themel will see better days than before. I will have a worry-free life. They have a lot of money, and Max will get the two large manors. I am not looking for money, my dear Father, I would have loved him even if he had no money. But I know you want to see your children well taken care of, which is why I have told you this. When the situation is clearer, I will write to you again. I have only written to Blanka about everything, no one else, and I ask that you not mention it. I also prefer not to discuss the financial situation with the family in Friederickenthal. I will always give as much as I can, but then it’s not my money, but his. Please forgive my messy handwriting. You will hardly be able to read this, but I am so excited when I write about him that my feather pen just flutters. I will write better when is he finally mine. I received good news from Blanka and the little ones. I wanted to visit them, but I lacked the time and cannot find anyone to take my place here while I am gone. Please write me again quite soon, my dear Papa, sending you many, many intimate kisses your faithful daughter
Clara
Side note, page 4: Can you imagine that the Herr von Bornstedt, the brother-in-law of Frau Karbe and cousin of August Ferber
Side note, page 3: died three weeks ago? We met him at Blanka’s wedding. He had broken his leg in two places before Christmas. The doctor treated him incorrectly.
Side note, page 2: The doctor did not notice that the entire bone was splintered. He died while he was given chloroform. It is unclear whether he died from the chloroform or from the fracture. It is so terrible; he was just a young man of 37.
Adamsdorf, December 4, 1881
My dear Papa!
Yesterday I received your letter from November 6th, which really saddened me greatly. You reproached me because I had not written you. My letters must have been lost, because I answered your letter for my birthday immediately, four pages for you and one for Curt. And then I wrote you a long letter for your birthday. But I had not received a letter from you since my birthday! I sent my letters to St Louis, because I had no idea that you two had gone to Chicago. I think all of your letters must not have arrived, otherwise Mama or Blanca would have written to me about it. Frau Karbe is my witness that I wrote to you. She is always quite pleased when I write you such long letters. Tomorrow I will write to Blanca and then I will fulfill your request and include your letter, but it will not make her happy, but rather very distressed. Why did you leave St Louis? Curt had a very good position there and he only get a small salaryin Chicago. It is hard to tell from so far away, but I feel you shouldn’t change jobs and move around too much. Well, maybe things are different in America! — I’m fine, after the illness I had in autumn, I recovered a great deal and gained eight pounds. I don’t know myself what I could write to you about my relationship with Themel. Herr Karbe has had such a falling out with the family over the railway that we have not yet seen each other. With time I have already become quite patient and think things will work out as they are meant to be! His leg is supposed to be much better; he can walk around the parlor with canes. I think he will still be completely healed. His relatives are doing everything to ensure that we will not be together, that is why they made the deal with the railway. Well, whatever is God’s will! Karbes are doing everything to take my mind off of things. As a favor to them, I went to two balls this week, where I danced an awful lot. I do not understand why the gentlemen would want to dance with such an old maid! I met a gentleman from Lewitz at the balls, who was with Curt in Culm. He said he immediately recognized me as Curt’s sister, because of the resemblance. He seems to be a nice person and sends Curt his regards. A few days ago, I received a letter from Blanca. They are all well. Hanny is supposed to be very healthy now, her pride and joy. Blanca wrote to me that Anna also wrote to Emmy and that she was doing well. I haven’t heard from Mama in a long time. This letter will probably arrive to you just in time for Christmas or the New Year, so I wish you so much happiness with all my heart! Hopefully the coming year will not bring me as much misery as I’ve been through this year. It’s often been too hard on me. Now I will receive a nice letter in return from you, dear Papa, not another ‘old mean one’ like the last. Such terrible letters are hard on me. Many intimate kisses to you and Curt. I still have so much work to do this Christmas. I didn’t get much done because of the balls.
In heartfelt love, your faithful daughter, Clara.
Adamsdorf, August 7, 1882
SC (initials with crown)
My dear good Papa!
I really didn’t have a single free day in four weeks. We had the house so full of visitors, so that I could not find the peace and quiet to write a proper letter. And when you write a letter to America, you must do so in peace. I received both of your dear letters. l was so very saddened by the news of the accident. How much I would like to help you, but it is not in my power! Several of my letters to you must have been lost again. Blanca had written a long letter to you, sent it to me and I added my picture and half a page to it. In that letter Blanca wrote that she was unable to send you money. Her husband had repaid his mother the 600 talers that he borrowed to pay for your trip to America. He paid his mother interest on it all these years. Blanca would find it terribly difficult to be unable to fulfill your request. Even if she had money herself, she would gladly give you so much. But, her husband keeps them on such a tight budget, that she herself is often ashamed. I think he is following in his father’s footsteps. Believe us, the poor woman’s life is no bed of roses. Blanca has not said anything to August about the money. He would not have given it to her anyway. I am certain of this. I am writing this to you, dear Papa, because I feel it’s my duty, since you might otherwise misjudge Blanca. But I have written this for your eyes only, no one else needs to know anything about it. I am the only one to whom Blanca spills her heart. She is in such a difficult situation, you must believe it. They have now completed their move to Melz. He wanted to stay in the civil service for the time being, but he changed his mind. I would have been happier for Blanca if they had remained in the city! Blanca is expecting a baby in January. I am so happy that Hanny will not remain an only child. You always worry about an only child. May the dear Lord protect Blana. She invited me to come to Melz in the fall. I really don’t know what I will do, perhaps I can put off travelling until January. I am supposed to go to Friederickenthal for the confirmation of the two elder daughters. The trip will probably be too expensive for me. My trip to see Anna in the spring cost too much. Anna has been Mrs. Kuhn in St Petersberg since May. She was on her way from London to Friederickenthal, where she stayed for fourteen days. Karbes had invited her to stay with us for a few days, which she then also did. I didn’t like her at all; she has changed so much to her detriment, outwardly and inwardly. I was happy when she left after two days. She acted like a foreigner. You wouldn’t recognize the German in her anymore! I have only received two vacuous letters from Petersberg. I cannot tell whether she is happy, she didn’t write about it. I wish her happiness with all my heart! I really liked the picture of Anna’s husband. She gave it to me. I also liked his letters. Their situation must be, as Anna says, quite good. He is not rich but he has his livelihood and can earn a lot. She could not tell me exactly what it is that he does. I believe he is a merchant. My relationship with Themel is now completely over. His relatives did everything to undermine the matter. They want to make sure that he does not find a wife (now that he is lame, they may actually succeed). They hope that the manors will end up in their hands. I pity the poor man; the accident he had made him so weak. I still love him, and I will always love him. I have endured such hard times, dear Papa, you can believe me. If I hadn’t had Karbes by my side, I would have perished. But I have become quieter and have the courage to carry on. We will never get together with the family again. However, the greatest attention is paid to me from all sides. Everyone knows what I have been through. The story is very well known in the whole area. The young man has disgraced himself. I actually feel sorry for him! For the last ten weeks, we have had the children of Karbes’ son here in the house, 4 little girls. The mother is in Switzerland because of her health. She suffers greatly from asthma. She will probably be gone for another 4 weeks. The little ones make us happy and are so attached to me, it is really touching. It will be hard for me when they leave us. What is Curt doing? He sent me such a very nice picture of himself some time ago, I was very pleased. I would also like to write to him but do not know his address. Now I have written you a nice, long letter. I am interrupted by the little ones quite often. They always make such a fuss about me. They’re always looking for reasons to look for me or have a question that I am rarely left in peace.
Side note, page 1: You will hopefully write to me again soon. I would be so very happy if I would get some good news from you again. Sending you an intimate kiss from your faithful daughter, Clara.
Side note, page 2: Give Curt my warmest regards. Please keep what I wrote about Blanca to yourself, dear Papa. She would be upset with me if she heard that I had written about it.
Side note, page 3: I hope that things are not going too poorly for you. The dear Lord has never left you. He will help again. Please write to me again soon and
Side note, page 4: the flowers that you sent me arrived so nicely, I thank you very much for that.
Adamsdorf, September 20, 1883
My dear, good Papa!
A few days ago, Mama sent me a letter for you, so I used the first free time I had to send it to you, adding a few lines myself. Your last dear letter truly saddened me greatly. I had believed that you were fine and well-looked after in the home of Herr von Flemming, and now it is all for naught. I am also very unhappy that you are in such a bad way. I did not receive a letter from you for my birthday. It was the first year that I didn’t receive birthday wishes from you, and I waited day after day for a birthday letter. It must have gotten lost. Why did you leave the house of Herr von Flemming? He was such a good friend to you. If only I could help you, I would do so gladly, but I only have just enough to get by. You shouldn’t think so badly of Blanca. I am very familiar with her situation and can assure you that she cannot give you anything, even though she really would like to. She would certainly do so if it were in her power, because she still has a good heart. As you will see from Mama’s letter, Emmy visited me with her two eldest daughters. It was such a great pleasure for me. I hadn’t seen her in six years, and she is always very loving and kind to me. The two daughters have become very grown-up girls, and it always seemed so odd when they called me Aunt Clara. They themselves also found it strange. The eldest is quite pretty, but the second one is, for my taste, a most beautiful and amiable girl. I would have liked to keep them here even longer. They are 15 and 16 years old. Emmy has aged quite a bit and has also put on some weight. Her relationship with Mama seems to be quite good now. She told me that she is a loving mother. I am happy that things are going so well with Mama and that she is cared for in her old age. I am quite fine here, as always. I am also quite healthy. Emmy said that I don’t look my age. We now have the house full of visitors again.
The four children of Karbes’ son are also here, very sweet little creatures who never want to leave me alone. They are sitting here with me again in my room as I write this letter and are chatting a mile a minute. I just cannot get rid of them; they then beg me so much to let them stay. In these last weeks, Karbes have given me lessons in painting porcelain. I really enjoy it a lot and would like to spend all day painting. If I don’t get married, which I have no desire to do, then I can also earn my money with painting. Please give the boy, Curt, my very warm regards and tell him I am so grateful to him for taking care of you. If it is in my power in this life, I will show him how grateful I am, and what I say I will surely do. But for now, farewell, dear Papa. May the dear Lord protect you and keep in your heart
Your faithful daughter, Clara
Adamsdorf, July 22, 1884
My beloved Father!
I cannot describe to you how much I enjoyed your dear long letter. Out of joy and gratitude, I now want to answer it right away, so that I don’t end up postponing and making you wait a long time again for a letter. Oh, how happy I am with all my heart that you are doing well, my dear Papa. The biggest and most beautiful joy I could have for my birthday, because you must know that it is not my birthday yet! Your cherished letter arrived so early this year that I am able to answer it before my birthday, which is also very dear to me. I can still write in peace right now, but on the 5th of July we will have the house full of visitors, and I will have little time to write then as the eight or nine guests will be here for four weeks.
I, my dear Daddy, have been quite fine. I live so happily and contentedly, and I hope it stays that way for a long time to come. I really can’t get it into my head that my little brother is getting married before me. I now realize that I truly am an old maid. If that boy can get married already, then I must be past my prime. It doesn’t matter; old maids would otherwise die out. If he is happy, then I am glad to end up an old maid. I would be so happy to learn about his lovely little bride, what her name is, how old she is, and what her parents do! You write so little about her and about him as well, and yet I would like to know so much about them. Also, I don’t know what Curt is doing now. Please, my dear Papa, write me a lot about this, because I surely can’t expect a letter from the young groom now that he is busy cuddling his girl.
I think he was right not to look for a rich woman. He will be able to achieve wealth on his own and then at least won’t have to hear that he married for money. Please send him my most heartfelt congratulations. This letter is also written for him. My warmest regards also to my dear little sister-in-law. I hope I will have an opportunity to get to know her in my lifetime. I would very much like to have a picture of her so that I can imagine something about her. You write to me that I should follow Curt’s example. Indeed, my dear Daddy, that is a difficult thing. It is too hard for a poor girl to find a husband. I was not lacking in suitors, and I could get a husband this very day if I wanted one. But here at Karbes I am too spoiled to take the first good man that comes along. And Karbes wouldn’t give me away to a man where I wasn’t well taken care of. A young man has been trying to court me for five years, and I believe he would fulfill my every wish. I often feel sorry for him, but I can’t accept him. I just do not love him enough to share my life with him. I have also shown him that quite openly, which is why he is now leaving the area. You all would not have approved of his social status. I have written this only to you. Do not mention it in your letters, my dear Papa. It could also be so easily misunderstood. I was at Blanca’s right after Easter for four weeks. I had a very nice time. Unfortunately, both children had whooping cough, and little Ina was so sick that I feared the worst. They are such charming children. Hanny is such a kind boy and loves his mother more than anything. He looks a lot like Blanca. The little girl takes after her father. They are such beautiful children. Blanca can be really proud of them. I haven’t heard from Anna in a long time. We don’t write to each other, so I hear little or nothing from her. On my return journey from Melz, I visited Adelheid Arnim in Berlin. Eva got engaged to a Lieutenant von John. She is very happy. Adelheid’s eldest son is always sick. He seems to have had a problem with his spinal cord the last six years. It is quite sad. Hans got engaged to a middle-class woman. The wedding is supposed to take place in the fall. Adelheid has not met her daughter-in-law yet. She is not very happy about the matter. Herbert has become a very nice person. He was so friendly and kind towards me. I really liked him. He plans to serve out his year in the military this fall and then concentrate on farming, as he is to take over the manor in Fredenwolde. Herbert would very much like to come to Adamsdorf for a while. I have already asked Herr Karbe about it. Herr Karbe was very interested in what you wrote about farming in your letter. He sends you his regards. I was recently at Dannenbergs in Szczecin. They are all well. Their deaf son married a deaf woman two years ago. They are now expecting their first child, I wonder how it will turn out! —- Kriegsheims are also doing well. They are now in Lagard. Artur, however, is not doing so well, according to Dannenbergs. He has separated from his wife and recently came to them in a very bedraggled state. He has now gone to America again. I should soon receive a letter from Mama for my birthday. I haven’t had news from her in so long. Please, dear Papa, send me Lagerströms’ address. Blanca completely forgot to send it to me. Now I have written you a nice long letter, and you must be satisfied with me, my old Father. Give Curt my regards and please do what I asked you. Can you believe that your daughter Clara can now also make lace? I am really proud of it. It’s pleasant work and will probably keep away the old maid crickets for the time being. Now a very loving kiss from
Your faithful
daughter Clara
Adamsdorf, September 16, 1884
My beloved little father!
I meant to write to you every day. Your dear long letter made me so happy. But I just could not find a quiet hour, because when I write to America it must be a proper letter. Yesterday brought another dear letter from you. I cannot let you wait any longer, and I am using the first quiet hour I have to chat with my old, dear Daddy. Yes, I believe my father probably now prefers to chat with his pretty young daughter-in-law rather than with his old maid of a daughter. Well, I can’t help it that I haven’t found a husband. I will probably have to travel to America to get married. I cannot imagine my little brother as a proper husband. You must send me a picture of the young married couple so that I can clearly imagine your son, then perhaps I’ll eventually do the same and get married. But joking aside, I am so very happy from the bottom of my heart that Curt has found a dear little wife and you, my father, a home. I think that with the lovely little Marie, happiness will be moving in with you. Give her my warmest regards and tell her that it’s my most intimate wish to get to know her. Tell that I already love her because she has made my brother so happy. Also give Curt my warmest regards and tell him he must ask me for my forgiveness as he has made an old maid out of me! This cannot be tolerated! — I have had a rather cheerful summer. We had the house so full of visitors. Often, we have had eight young girls here at once, all of them were a lot of fun. They pulled several pranks. Then you remember what it is to be young again, and you forget your age. I really don’t feel that old yet. I must send you both another picture of myself again so that you don’t think I’ve become an old woman. I believe that being cheerful keeps a person fresh and young. Our dear Blanca is doing well. She promised me she would come to Adamsdorf in October, and I am really looking forward to showing her my beloved homeland. Oh, my father, when I look at Blanca’s life, I am very happy from the bottom of my heart that I am not tied down to some man yet. What good does land and money do me if I feel no love (for him), if I am not loved? Then I would rather have no husband, or at least one of lesser means but who has a heart full of love. Only that makes you happy, and that is the only kind of man I would take! Don’t think so badly of Blanca, my Papa, she doesn’t deserve it. I am often saddened that you all moved so far away, and I love you both so very much. I only hear about Anna sometimes through Mama. She probably doesn’t need me, otherwise she would have already written. Mama hasn’t written to me in a very long time, I hope she’s fine. I will ask her for the essays you wrote. Do you always have such nice weather in America? We have had such a beautiful summer as I have never experienced before, and autumn is just so beautiful that it often fills the heart with joy when you go outside. But now my page is full and I am out of time. My sister-in-law Marie must continue chatting with you, the father-in-law will probably also like that! Give the dear girl a very cordial kiss from me, and she should give Curt, the bridegroom, a kiss from me. This task will probably not be too difficult for her. Farewell and keep in your heart,
Your faithful daughter, Clara
Adamsdorf N/Mark, August 18, 1885.
My dear Father!
Congratulations to all of you on the birth of your little girl! I can really imagine your joy. It is also the first grandchild that you can kiss and hold in your arms. Kurt will probably have wished for a little boy, fathers are always that way. But I like little girls much more, and I am so glad that this little being shall become my goddaughter and that you would want to give her my name. May the dear Lord also give her my cheerful nature with my name, then it will be much easier for her to get through life’s difficult hours, which come to everyone. Give my warmest regards to the young mother and Curt. I wish them so much happiness with their child, and also thank them for the trust that they have in me to choose me as the godmother of their child. If only I were able to act like a real godmother, how much I would like to do so. But we live too far apart from each other. Who knows if we will ever see each other again in life? I myself don’t have a lot of good news to write. Things aren’t so great here. Frau Karbe is also making life rather difficult for us. One is called upon to exercise great patience each day. Her mental state has made her most malicious, and this is too awful for me to bear. You can’t say that she has lost her mind. If this were the case, it would be much easier for me to endure everything. No, she is quite clear, but is often so agitated that she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Herr Karbe has deteriorated so much from the trouble and turmoil that I fear he will die before his wife as he has lost 50 lb. since last year. Yes, my dear Father, I have had so many good and wonderful years here, but the last one has been very difficult for me. I owe the Karbes such a debt of gratitude, which is why I am trying to be very patient and quietly wait for better times. Things cannot stay this way forever. Herr Karbe is also too good to me and treats me like his child. She also loves me very much, but she makes life too difficult for us. Now I have to take care of the whole household, which is also causing me a lot of headaches, I am often too despondent. But I try not to to complain and carry on. But on the other hand, I am shown so much love. All of the relatives are so grateful to me and so often say to me, “What will become of Adamsdorf if you were to leave?” I would never do this. I would not leave the Karbes. We have Karbes’ little granddaughter here; she’s 3 1/2 years old. This little creature gives me so much joy. She thinks she is my child and cannot bear to be away from me. Write me back soon, my dear Father. I would be so happy to hear how you are doing. My warmest regards to Curt and his wife from me, to you a heartfelt kiss from
Your faithful daughter, Clara
Side note: Give little Clara a kiss from me.
Adamsdorf N/Mark, February 7, 1886
My dear Papa!
Today is Sunday, it is 12 degrees cold outside, and I would rather sit in my warm cozy room and chat for an hour with my old dear father than go to church. The dear Lord will not be angry with me, I otherwise go to church every Sunday. I was so very gladdened by your dear letter, which I received a few days ago, because I see that you are doing well and that little Eva gives you a lot of joy. How happy I am for you, my dear father, may this little sweet creature be your joy for a long time to come. My thoughts are with you a lot, even though I don’t write that often, I still love you all very much!
When I read your dear letter, I felt such longing to be with you all. How I would have loved to have held little Eva myself during the baptism, but the distance is too great. If possible, I want to be a faithful godmother to the little one. Who knows what will come! Now I have to fulfill my duties here. As long as Herr Karbe is alive, I do not want to leave him, unless some evil brute were to come and drag me away. Then I can’t change it, and there are no prospects so far. We live here among only good people. Herr Karbe treats me like his daughter. He is so kind and good to me, lets me do and act freely. He is never unkind or gruff. I can’t think of a better life than I have here, and I hope that it stays that way for a very long time. Herr Karbe and I have not discussed in the slightest about my staying or not staying. We both take it for granted that I will not leave him. The relatives are also grateful to me that I have remained here. Herr Karbe has suffered so much for an entire year, to the point that we were very worried about him, but he is much better again now. He has already become a completely different person again. His wife’s illness had taken its toll on him. It really was a terrible time. But how I miss my dear Frau Karbe. How unfortunate that you did not get to know her. She was so very good to me. She could look into my eyes and see what I wanted and take care of it for me. When Herr Karbe is no longer alive and I am still an old maid, I will come to Curt. Such old aunts can sometimes be nice to have around. Please, dear Papa, write and tell me about Curt’s work. Does he have his own business? Herr Karbe asked me about it and I couldn’t give him an answer. I felt rather stupid. I received a letter from Blanca yesterday. She and the children are doing well. I also had a letter from Mama some time ago. She was doing rather poorly, but Emmy hasn’t written to me in a very long time. I think Emmy is very worried about marrying off her daughters, and they are still rather immature. Blanca would like to visit Mama this summer. I would like to see her, but unfortunately it is hard for me to leave here. Blanca also wants to have me back in the spring for a few weeks in Melz, she always writes about it. I don’t know if I will be able to go. As much as I would like to, I have too many responsibilities. The little granddaughter of Herr Karbe is still with us. A sweet child who is a great joy to us and has brightened many a dull moment. If you write to Fritz, please give him my regards. I really regret that we do not know each other at all. Please also give my regards to Curt and his wife and a heartfelt kiss to little Eva . You must send me a picture of her soon.
Now farewell, my dear Papa, a heartfelt kiss from your faithful daughter Clara
Side note, page 1: I sent your letter to Mama straight away.
Note: This dried flower, apparently a crocus, was found in the letter.
Adamsdorf A/Mark, October 14, 1886
My dear, sweet Papa!
I send you many heartfelt wishes on your upcoming birthday. May you have a very happy and satisfying year. This I wish for you with all my heart. I was so gladdened by your last dear letter, because it was written so cheerfully and contentedly. I have fared quite well myself. I have enjoyed good health and also had a cheerful nice time. We had a lot of visitors to the house. A sister of the late Frau Karbe was here four weeks with her daughter, who is engaged. Her fiancé, an officer, was here for fourteen days. Then a friend of mine, a Frau von Normann, came with her husband for twelve days. Everyone was so cheerful and seemed to enjoy it here. I then traveled to Berlin together with Bauers to see an art exhibition. I saw a lot in Berlin. We went to the theater four times. I also saw the palace. The art exhibition was just beautiful. I didn’t want to go away from the pictures. Herr Karbe stayed at home alone with little Trudy, our child, which was a great sacrifice for him. Yes, I guess you could say I have a child, but it is only a borrowed child of the young Karbes. We love to do it. Trudy has been with us most of her life. She will be five years old, a dear little creature, our absolute joy. She never can get enough of her Aunt Clara. I think if we gave her back, she would get homesick. How much joy little Eva must give you. I can just imagine Grandpa playing with the little one. A small child in the house is just so lovely! They liven up so many a dull hour. You feel like a child again with them. I haven’t heard from Blanca in a very long time. I’m afraid she’s a bit angry with me. I was supposed to visit her and haven’t been able to do so. It’s really very hard for me to get away from home. I can’t leave the poor old man alone, and my Trudy would also feel abandoned. Yesterday I wrote to Blanca again. I hope to get an answer soon. I also visited the Arnims in Berlin. They were doing quite well, except for Berent who is always ailing. Hubert is here in our area at a manor to look at the operations. I would like to invite him to visit us. Arnims send you their best. How is Curt doing? Please give him my heartfelt regards. Hubert Arnim is looking for a rich woman. I want to try to find him one. Your Clara has now become a proper old maid. I already have so many quirks, as anyone can attest to. Well, it’s better that way than to be tormented by a nasty husband every day. I am also quite happy as an old maid. But now, farewell, my dear sweet Father.
Sending all of you an intimate kiss from your faithful
daughter Clara
Adamsdorf, January 2, 1887
My dear brother Curt!
You have pleased me so very, very much with your dear letter. You have my sincerest thanks! For your upcoming birthday, I wish you good luck. May things always go well for you, and may you find great joy in your little Eva. Words cannot express how grateful I am to you. You are taking care of our dear father so faithfully. The dear Lord will surely reward you and your children for that.
I certainly hope that we will see each other again in this life. I wish for it with all my heart. I find it such a lovely thought to live with my brother when I am an old maid. I don’t want to be a burden to you, my good Curt. I can do a lot of fine work and can earn my keep quite well. Who knows how things will turn out in this life? I’m doing quite well. I have regained my energy and my strength. I will probably never have it this good again in my entire life. I am quite certain of that, but I also know how difficult it would be for Herr Karbe to do without me. He has told me so many times that he could not cope without me. This is probably not the case, anyone can be replaced. But I doubt it would be such a cozy life as we lead here, which is rare and I love it so much. Herr Karbe treats me like his daughter. I can do whatever I want here in the house. He is satisfied with everything, but he also knows how seriously I take everything. We spent Christmas rather merrily with Herr Karbe’s grandchildren. The children love to be with us. Aunt Clara’s dolls are always the best. I will write to Papa in the next few days. I have no more time today and would like my birthday wishes to arrive on time. I received a very nice letter from Mama yesterday. She is doing well. I don’t have any news about Blanca now. She is as lazy as the rest of us when it comes to writing. Your dear letters arrived here on New Year’s Day in the morning. I was most pleasantly surprised. Please give Papa my love and give your Eva a warm kiss from her,
Aunt Clara
Side note: I wish you all a happy New Year.
Adamsdorf, October 13, 1887
My beloved Father!
Yesterday I received your dear letter, which I am now answering immediately. First of all, my most heartfelt wishes for your upcoming birthday. May the dear Lord give you truly good fortune and happiness in the coming year and keep my beloved father alive for quite a long time. I have not given up hope that we will see each other again in this life. I have already forwarded your letter to Mama today. She will be very pleased about the nice long letter. A few weeks ago I received one from her, in which she complained a lot about her health. I have been home now for already four weeks. The treatment in Elster has done me so much good. My bad cough is gone, and I have become much stronger. The water from the well has now affected my stomach so badly, that it always hurts. Hopefully, it will not turn into another ulcer. I really worry about that. I’m so glad that I’m back home. I don’t like the spa lifestyle. It’s so much nicer at home. Herr Karbe is glad that I am with him again, and he has not fared so well in my absence. We have been living together for ten years now. No one can handle Herr Karbe as well as I do. I am now suddenly the mother of three children; our family is growing rapidly. What has become of your daughter?! – Well, don’t worry, they’re all borrowed children. Diphtheria has broken out among the children in the village in Lieben, where the young Karbes live. So, the doctor wanted them to send all the children away. The three older ones are in Mecklenburg with the other grandparents, and we have the 3 little ones here.
My youngest little one is six months old. We have a wet nurse for our little Trudy. The children are all so charming and give me a lot of joy. I am greatly rewarded for my efforts, as the children love me so much. Little Eva must be so charming. Please send me a picture of her. Blanca is doing well, I visited her in Berlin when she was still in the clinic. It is most fortunate that she went there. A year later and she would have been lost, as the doctor says this would have turned into cancer. I had already noticed this spring that she was seriously ill, there was no denying it. Warm regards to Curt and a sweet kiss to little Eva.
Sending you an intimate birthday kiss from your faithful
daughter Clara
Adamsdorf N/M., July 12th, 1888
My dear Daddy!
Thank you so very much for your dear long letter on my birthday, which just arrived here in the afternoon of my birthday. You, good Papa, always remember my birthday right on time. I’m really so very spoiled by you. When the letter did not arrive on Monday, I was a little saddened. But the joy was all the greater when it arrived that afternoon. The letter was written so cheerfully and joyfully that I rejoiced in it with all my heart. Your letters do not at all reflect that you are plagued by your age. They are always written so lively and cheerfully, that I really cannot imagine that you are already as old and obsolete as you describe yourself. We Schmalensees always stay young. I don’t think people realize yet just how old I am. So far, people don’t think of me as an old maid, although I really am. I’ve always fared pretty well. I feel quite lively. Herr Karbe wanted to send me to a spa, but I managed to get my way! — I can’t be away from home for that long, that is never good, as I saw last year. What would my two children say? Even though the mood here is very good, they would not cope well without Aunt Clara. My eldest “daughter” is six years old, Trudy is her name. She is a lovely creature, so gentle and amiable. I can raise her as I see fit. She obeys my every word. Editha is three years old, a little deceptive and in need of much discipline. She is very clever and cunning, just like her mother, so stubborn. But I hope I will succeed in making a good child out of her. Herr Karbe leaves the upbringing of the children to me entirely. What I say and what I dictate also happens. On the 26th of July, I intend to travel to East Prussia for fourteen days. I have been getting such longing letters from there that I must go. I’m looking so very forward to seeing everyone again. I haven’t seen Mama in almost eleven years. She always writes such loving letters to me. Blanca also wants to go to Rohrfeld in September. Blanca writes that she is doing better, but I think her husband gives her a lot of trouble. I wouldn’t want him as a husband. I would rather have no husband, then you are freer and happier. I never regretted not finding a husband! — Greet Curt most warmly from me. He would also be better off if he were free. I don’t understand why he would have taken such a woman as his wife. He could have gotten any nice girl who had some money. Can’t he leave her? I would like to have pictures of Curt and the children. Could you send me some? Well, my Father, give the children a kiss. Tell little Eva she should always be good. Then Aunt Clara will love her very much.
In intimate love, your faithful daughter Clara
Side note, page 4: I sent Mama your letter straight away. She was already expecting it.
Side note, page 3: Today a girlfriend of mine is coming to spend eight days.
Side note, page 2: We can’t complain about the heat this year. It has rained a lot and is quite cold. We even needed to turn on heat.
Side note, page 1: I haven’t heard from Sonnenbergs in a long time. He was discharged, they live in Berlin. Kriegsheims are living in Lagard. They are doing quite well. Editha has grown old. I saw her last year.
Adamsdorf, December 27, 1888
My dear Papa!
I also have a little Christmas gift for you this year. It is arriving a bit late, of course, but it is arriving all the same. Can you believe that I got engaged to Herr Karbe on the second day of Christmas? It happened so unexpectedly, that it still feels like a dream to me now. This dear good man, you would really like him. He is such an honorable man, I can be proud to become his wife. Our wedding will take place in Berlin in two or three weeks. I will leave here on Saturday and return home as a married woman. When I have a quiet moment, I will write to you at length describing how everything came about. Be with us in spirit as we stand at the altar and give us your blessing. My fiancé asks me to send you his regards. Greet Curt dearly from me. To you a heartfelt kiss from
Your
faithful
daughter Clara
Adamsdorf, October 20, 1889
My dear Papa!
I send you my most heartfelt wishes on your birthday. May abundant happiness blossom for you in this coming year of life, may you remain quite healthy and celebrate many more birthdays to come. It will probably not be much longer before my little one arrives. It could be that the baby will be born on your birthday. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful birthday present? I’m doing quite well. I am looking better than ever; everyone is happy for me. But now the waiting has grown rather tedious for me. I greatly long for the time when I can hold my baby in my arms. The dear Lord will protect me, it is my firm belief. Last week we had the joy of having Blanca with us for a few days. It was such a lovely time. She is such a dear creature, a faithful sister to me, only rather lazy when it comes correspondence. You will have probably noticed this, too. You mustn’t think that this has anything to do with bad intentions on her part, she’s too good a person for that. But Blanca does intend to write you for your birthday and send you a picture of her family. My husband sends you the warmest birthday wishes; he will write to you when my little one is born. Today he has a lot to do. Mama is doing well, except for some physical ailments. She also intends to write to you. I was very happy about your last dear letter, thank you so very much. Greet Curt and the children warmly from me. I would like to have pictures of you all, please do that for me. May God keep you, my dear Papa. A heartfelt kiss from
Your
faithful
daughter Clara Karbe
Adamsdorf, July 18, 1890
My dear, good Papa!
You should finally receive a long letter from me; you have certainly waited long enough for one. I thank you very much for your dear letters. They are always written in such a lively manner, which makes me so very happy as your letters in no way reflect your age. May God keep you this agile and cheerful for a long time to come. I can imagine what joy the children must give you. My goodness, your family is growing very quickly. The air must be more fertile there than it is here. We have fared quite well. We have led a rather busy life in the last few weeks. At first we were in Carlsbad for three weeks. My husband had already been there 15 times in previous years and now felt a great desire to go back again. He had a bad cough last winter, and Carlsbad has always helped him get rid of it. I couldn’t let him travel alone. We took mud baths and drank Eger salts, which was very good for me. When we returned home, we had a lot of social obligations waiting for us. Almost every day we were either invited somewhere or entertained guests. Fourteen days ago we also traveled to Largow to visit Kriegsheims for a few days. My husband knows Herr von Kriegsheim from earlier, and they had invited us to visit them a long time ago. The Kriegsheims were lovely to us. It was really hard for me to leave again. Herr von Kriegheim has grown quite old. He can hardly see and his hearing is also very poor. What difficult times has he been through. I couldn’t look at him without feeling sad; I felt so sorry for him. Frau von Kriegsheim also suffered from a serious illness last year. She was close to death, but is now quite chipper. Editha is still the same dear creature she always has been; she also still looks quite nice. They told me some sad news about Blanca. Her nerves were so bad for a time that Ferber wanted to put her in an institution. She was in Dresden for a while, with some miracle doctor. I don’t know how she’s doing now, but I hope better now that she’s back in Melz. I received a brief card from her on my birthday. We were in Melz for two days during Pentecost. My husband had not been there yet. Blanca hardly showed any signs of her illness. She had been rather difficult for a long time and would not tolerate any objections. I always held my tongue so as not to get into an argument with her, because I cannot stand any quarrel or strife. I received a long letter from Mama for my birthday, so cheerful and nice. She was very pleased by your letter, as she had written this to me. We just had one of Graus’ sons, a cadet, with us for a few days at Pentecost. He is in Lichterfelde. He appears to be a gifted person. He’s 15 years old, very tall and with a strong build. You would think you had an 18-year-old in front of you. He already seems to be so grown up, we think a little too grown up. You can tell that he is given a lot of freedom in his parents’ home. I rather like him. I think he has a very good heart. Your dear letter for my birthday brought us the warm weather we had been hoping for. It had been so cold until now and rained nearly every day. The harvest in the field is magnificent, it is a joy to look at the fields. My husband’s great efforts were really rewarded this year. You can’t imagine how diligent my husband is. He works from morning till night. I wonder how he does it. His son has gone through a great deal with his wife. He is now in the process of divorcing her, but please do not mention anything about it in your letters. My husband might not want me to talk about it. My dear good husband has suffered a lot from this situation. This terrible woman also dragged his name through the dirt. I’m just glad that this person will no longer be part of the family, I have suffered a lot because of her. Greet Curt warmly from me, give the children a kiss. You would delight me very much with a picture of the children. My husband asks me to send you his warmest regards. He always reads your letters with great interest. Unfortunately, the stork has not come to our house yet, I have already given up hope! But for now, farewell, my dear Papa. Please always take good care of yourself. Sending you a heartfelt kiss,
Your faithful daughter, Clara
Adamsdorf, March 10, 1891
My dear Papa!
Yesterday I found your dear long letter upon our return from an extended journey, so I didn’t want to make you wait any longer for a response. Actually, you were supposed to get a letter from me before our trip, but it came up so suddenly, I no longer had a chance to write. For our second wedding anniversary, my dear husband surprised me with the gift of a trip to Italy. You can imagine how great my joy was. We spent several lovely weeks there, we were in Rome and Naples, had constant blue skies and the brightest sunshine. I had no idea of the splendor we would see, it was all so blissful. We also climbed Mount Vesuvius and stood at the top of the crater. It was eerily beautiful, but I thought it would be the end of us. It was very strenuous getting up there, but we did not regret it. For me Capri was the loveliest place that we saw. It was so hard for me to leave there. The people there are as lovely as I have ever seen; everyone was so cheerful and friendly. The whole island is one of sunshine such as I will never forget. The very high cliffs above and the beautiful blue sea below. Everything was green and the most beautiful flowers were in bloom. We were also in Pompeii; it was incredibly interesting. I have now seen that there were great artists there even before the time of Christ. They created even more beautiful things than you can find nowadays. I saw works that made me stop in my tracks. You could not believe that human hands were able to make such things. How grateful I am to my dear husband for taking me on this journey. It was not only pleasing to the eye, it was also very educational. We were always so happy and easily overcame any difficulties. But it is also very good to be back home again now. We were greeted with joy by everyone in the house, even the dogs and cats. Six weeks is also such a long time. Blanca knows about our trip and was very happy for me, but I didn’t write anything about it to Graus. Emmy is always so presumptuous and places great demands on us. She assumes my husband is rich and can give a lot. Although my husband is in very good circumstances, he has earned everything himself through hard work. I was always poor and must remain modest and always will be. My husband has his son and six granddaughters to support. He sends 200 marks every year for Mama and I also send many gifts there. But Emmy always places new demands, which I cannot ask of my husband. I would be too ashamed. Her three adult daughters and adult son live at home with her. They could get jobs and go to work. We also earned our keep and are none the worse for it, quite the opposite. I am respected everywhere I go. I stated this very openly in a letter to her. Blanca also gives as much for Mama as we do; hence, this elderly, modest woman is well cared for. I always get a bit angry whenever this subject comes up, but I find Emmy so disagreeable. I find her to be too cunning and I am no match for her in that sense. Please don’t mention what I have written to you today in your letters to Mama. She is entirely under Emmy’s control. Thank God, she hasn’t sensed this and feels quite at ease there. My husband sends you his regards and thanks you for your dear letter. He now has a lot to do after the trip. Greet Curt and the children warmly from me, give the dear little ones a kiss from their Aunt Clara. We are already eagerly awaiting the spring, which is taking its time. The distance between Italy and here is so very great. I was completely tanned by the beautiful sun. This letter needs to get to the post office, so I must to close. An intimate kiss from
Your
old daughter, Clara
Adamsdorf, May 24, 1891
in Neumark
My dear Curt!
A few days ago, I learned incidentally in a letter from Emmy about the death of our father, which said he had passed away nearly 2 months ago. I cannot help but think that your letter informing me was lost, because Emmy wrote me that I would have already gotten word from you. Thus, I know nothing about my father’s passing, whose death has touched me very deeply. Did he suffer much or did he die peacefully? A few weeks ago, when there was so much in the newspapers about the horrible influenza said to be spreading in Chicago, I had to think of you often. Did Papa fall victim to it in the end? You have always taken such loving care of Papa, my dear Curt. The dear Lord will reward you and your children for what you have done for your father. According to his letters, he always felt very comfortable with you and thought the world of you and your children. But we must not become strangers, my dear Curt. Please send me a letter from time to time about how you and yours are doing. Until now I have always been able to be with you in my mind through the descriptions that Papa gave of you. His whole heart hung on the children. He described them to me in such detail. I hope that Papa received my last letter before he died. According to my calculations, he must have received it by the end of March. I would be so nice to know if he got it. Fate has been so cruel to us, keeping us all so far apart from each other. This has been a very bitter thought for me. But now I have my dear husband and my beautiful home, which has made up for some of those sad times. I think our mother’s days are also numbered. I hope we will be able to visit her this summer. She has always felt comfortable with Graus, even if everything is not how it should be, but she does not see it that way. So, I now hope to receive a message from you soon . Please write me a great deal about Papa.
Side note, page 1: My husband, who sends you his regards, mourns deeply with me. He has such a noble heart.
Side note, page 2: Greetings to your wife and children from me.
Side note, page 3: In sincere love, your faithful sister, Clara.
Adamsdorf, March 24, 1892
My dear Curt!
I received your dear second letter last night and am deeply saddened that you have so many worries. I would greatly love to help you if I could, but it really isn’t in my power. My husband has suffered such great losses in the last year that I cannot ask this of him. He has another new major concern which is costing a lot of money. We have hoof and mouth disease among all our cattle. It is time for spring planting and none of the oxen can be used. He, who never despairs, now hangs his head with worry. Last year’s harvest was also very poor. I could give you ten, even 20 marks, but I don’t even know how to do it. You couldn’t use our German money, and my conscience would not allow me to send you the money behind my husband’s back. He is already paying a pension for Mama at Emmy’s and he gives me a sum to send Mama for her current expenses at Christmas and for her birthday. I don’t want to ask him for even more for my family. As you know, we Schmalensees have our pride. I think, my dear Curt, you will surely overcome these worries again. Just don’t forget, the dear Lord will reward you for all the good you have done for our father. I will not say anything to anyone about your letter. My husband is away for several days and I don’t want to worry Mama. She couldn’t help you anyway. I sent her your first letter and include her answer in this letter. Mama has grown very close to my heart. She has become so gentle and loving in her old age. But I particularly admire Mama’s great humility, because she has fewer needs for herself than I ever thought possible. She has become a good person who I look up to. I hope to become more like her! Agnes, Emmy’s second daughter, will join us for a long visit. Else, the elder daughter, wants to become a deaconess* in Hanover. She will also spend some time with us on her way there. I am still in no way fond of Emmy. She is too unrefined and complains all day long. But her children are very tolerable. I have grown particularly fond of Agnes. She was sick in the autumn when I visited Mama. How much I would love to see your children. If only the distance were not so great. Your family is growing. Some have too much, others too little. Well, once your wife has survived the birth well, your worries will then be gone again. In my life I have always noticed that sunshine always comes after rain, and so will it be for you. Just don’t let your courage waver! I haven’t heard from Blanca in a long time. She doesn’t like to write. She has not heard from you in a long while. She did not receive the letter you sent her. I could not send her your letter to me, because you mentioned her sad circumstances in it and I didn’t want to send her that. Write her a nice letter quite soon. She thinks the world of you. We siblings must to stick together. Unfortunately, I have parted ways entirely with Anna. She wants nothing more to do with us. That’s her own loss, I have often sent her my regards through Mama, but she never once reciprocated with a greeting, never asked about me. I’m just happy that she’s well looked after, now that she no longer needs me. I would like to ask you to send me Fritz’s address if you have it. Please, my dear Curt, write to me again soon once your wife has given birth. If you can’t write a long letter, I would be happy with a few lines, just so I know how you are doing. Write to me if you need advice. Even if we are far apart and I am unfamiliar with the circumstances, one can give advice. My dear husband has already helped many with his wisdom.
Side note, page 1: Greet your wife, give your children a kiss from me. In unwavering deep love, your faithful
sister Clara
* A woman chosen to assist in the church ministry, specifically one in a Protestant order
Adamsdorf, September 8,1893
My dear brother Curt!
A few days ago, my husband sent you 500 marks through his banker (Helfft from Berlin), which I hope will make it into your hands. 400 marks are from Blanca and 100 marks from my husband. You must not despair that my husband isn’t sending more. He has many financial worries at the moment. He just lost thousands of dollars in American securities and has made other large losses. My husband has to give money to so many, to relatives of his late wife, to Mama, in the spring also for Arthur Grau’s selection into military school. It is quite embarrassing for me to ask my husband for money, when I know what other worries he has. I hope the 500 marks will help get you out of your difficulties and that you can establish another home. The picture of you and your little boy made me very happy. A splendid little rascal, he reminds me a great deal of the pictures of Papa when he was a child. Our mother was doing very poorly a few weeks ago. I thought her time had come, at least given the way Emmy described it. She lay delirious in bed for days and is said to have been terribly weak. Mama has an incurable kidney disease. The doctor expects her to live until autumn. I want so much to see her again, only the journey is so terribly long and expensive. It is a great reassurance to me that Mama feels so comfortable in Grau’s home. She is such a modest old woman, which is fortunate for her. Grau’s have now finally sold the small estate in Deinau and now live in Rohrfeld near Mallwischken by Insterburg, on the estate they had to take back as the buyer went bankrupt. I’m so very relieved. I worried so much about them, but there was nothing I could do to help them. Oh, if I only I had a lot of money, but we Schmalensees will probably never have too many earthly goods. Blanka’s husband is very rich, but he keeps her on a very tight budget. What she gave you came from her pocket money, because she doesn’t like to ask her husband for money; she writes that he would refuse to give it. Because of her sad situation at home Blanca has become rather difficult, unfortunately I can no longer deal with her, because we do not know stress and strife in our home. My husband and I love the peace and this is how we live our lives. Blanca takes everything badly, sometimes I get letters from her insinuating that I am stubborn, as if she is talking to a school girl and not a woman of 39 years. I don’t respond to her coarseness any more, then she has to be quiet. She is a poor, unfortunate woman, whom one really must pity. But, unfortunately she is also not burdened with too much intelligence, because if she were wise she would know how to handle her husband, he would not be this difficult. Men just need to be treated with some kindness. I manage my husband very well, he is so kind to me and is cheerful and pleasant with me. My husband is so diligent. He is already up at 4:30 a.m. in the morning, rides out to the fields until 7 o’clock, and then at 7 o’clock we have breakfast together. From 9 a.m. until 12 he rides out again and does the same in the afternoon, even though he is a man of 68 years. When you have received the money, please write me a few lines so that we can rest assured. Hopefully it will serve you well and that you are finally free from your worries. Greetings to your wife and children. My husband asks me to send you his regards. And now with God blessings, my dear brother, much luck for the future, wishing you this from the bottom of my heart
Your faithful
sister, Clara
Adf., Sep. 9 1893
Dear Curt!
>The attached letter was about to go out to you when I received your letter from St. Paul. My husband immediately wrote to his banker in Berlin that the 500 marks that were already sent to Oak Park should now be forwarded to St. Paul. Hopefully, you will not be in even greater need because of this delay. I am quite saddened that you have come into such dire circumstances. I think it would not have come to this if our father were still alive. But I don’t want to blame you, I don’t know the conditions there and I won’t permit myself to judge. I find it so sad for you that you have such a big family to support; a single man gets through this world much more easily. Don’t despair, my dear brother, God will not desert you. When you have received the money, please write to me immediately, I will live uneasily until then. The 500 marks should take care of your greatest needs.
Warm regards from
your sister, Clara
Adamsdorf, April 12, 1897
My dear brother Curt!
I am sending you enclosed the ring and hope that it will bring you good luck. Hopefully, it will now really make its way into your hands, it would be a shame if such an old family heirloom were lost. Please write me immediately after receiving the ring to let me know whether you have really received it. I would have sent you the ring earlier, but your dear letter did not reach me at home. I had gone to Wiesbaden for a few weeks with my husband, who is suffering greatly from gout and podagra. Thank God, the treatment he received there helped a lot, he is more energetic and limber again. I am always quite worried when my husband is suffering. He is already 71 years old, may God grant me many more years with him!
I was very saddened by your dear letter that you still have so many worries. It must be a terrible situation to struggle for your daily bread. Hopefully better times will be coming soon for you. I hope you will soon be reunited with your family. Everything is easier to bear when you have your loved ones with you. From the bottom of my heart, I would like to help you, but it simply isn’t possible. My husband has to help his son out, who has a big family and is having a hard time. Recently my husband had to pay 1500 marks for one of his granddaughters who spent three months in a clinic in Berlin. Now we have the child with us and must pay for a governess for her. It is so sad that Graus have also fallen on such hard times. It is so fortunate that they have such good children, all of the daughters have turned out well. Greet your wife and children warmly and take good care of yourselves. My husband also sends his regards.
In deep love,
your faithful sister, Clara.
Wolkow near Gu. Raddow i/F
January 14, 1922
My dear brother, Curt!
A few days ago, I received your dear letter and was so very pleased to finally have a sign of life from you again after such a long time, my many heartfelt thanks. Tomorrow is your birthday; you will be 62 years old. Even if my congratulations will not reach you in time, my thoughts will surely be with you, I wish you so much love and good things. May you and yours be well and may you experience much joy in your children and grandchildren. The picture of your two little boys is just too cute, I can imagine how proud you are of those sweet rascals. You have given me such great pleasure with this picture, thank you so very much. Blanca and I were so very worried that something had happened to you. One can easily think that, given the sad times we are living in. We do not hear from Anna anymore, the letters that Blanca and I wrote to her came back. Iis she even still alive? According to her letters, she was still very much alive, but she seemed sad. I should send her money to live on, but there is no point. What value does the German mark now have abroad, especially since I could have sent several thousand and but I am not in that financial situation in these sad times. When I gave my property to my nephew, the mark had a completely different value than today. He must pay me a pension of 12,000 marks and then I still also receive a war pension for my husband of 5000 marks. I am well taken care of here. But you wouldn’t believe how expensive everything is. My monetary needs are small, but there are so many who are starving and I must help them. Just like Blanca, who must struggle through these terrible times. She’s so humble, I don’t think her daughter gives her much. Her daughter is definitely a source of disappointment in her life. Blanca could be living comfortably in Melz with her daughter, but now she is among strangers and leads a miserable life. But she is so pious and God-fearing, it helps her to bear everything. But I only write this to you in confidence, please do not mention any of this in your letters to her. We all have our crosses to bear. It is also not easy for me to continue living. I had lived so happily with my husband, and we decided everything together. Now I must watch silently while foolish things are being done. My nephew is a dear person, but very taken with himself, criticizes how things used to be done here, and it hurts. Everything he has is from us and he now thinks very highly of himself. My niece can be very nice, but she can also be a beast. Please never write about any of this, the letter could end up in their hands. Oh, you would not believe how I long for death to be reunited with my beloved husband. With this in mind, I patiently endure all that the dear Lord has called on me to bear. We will surely never see each other again in this lifetime, my dear Curt, but there will certainly be a reunion in Heaven. This is my firm belief. Greet your loved ones most warmly for me, my dear Curt. May things always go well for you. Sending you an intimate kiss in my thoughts
Your sister, Clara
Wolkow near Gr. Raddow / Pom.
June 27, [19]23
My dear brother ,Curt!
Today I have such a beautiful opportunity to write to you. Unfortunately, I have not received a sign of life from you in such a long time, and a letter from you would have made me so happy. Your letter to Blanca unfortunately did not find its way to me. Hopefully, you and your family have been well all this time, at the very least that is what I wish it for you with all my heart. It is such a pity that we cannot see each other in this life and that I could not get to know your family at all. The pictures of your grandchildren are so charming; what joy these sweet creatures must bring you. I have Blanca here right now. It’s wonderful that she is able to come and visit me nearly every year. She is still quite fit and agile for her age. I would not dare take such a trip by myself anymore like she has done now. It is so good that you are supporting her so much with money. I am so grateful to you from the bottom of my heart, because our German money has now become so worthless. I also give her as much as I can and as do others who care for her. She has set your 5 dollar bill aside for her funeral. She cannot be persuaded to exchange it for German money. Today, one dollar is already worth 152,617 marks. You can’t imagine how expensive everything is in Germany. The world has gone completely crazy. Oh, if only I would die soon, I am so done with this life!
Unfortunately, my health has not always been good. I suffer a great deal from an inflammation of my gall bladder. I was very ill during Pentecost and suffered a lot. I have been advised by various doctors to have my gall bladder removed, but have not done so. I have had my fill of operations and would rather to die than have another one. We are suffering a lot under the cold and rainy weather. Please send us some of that heat wave that we are always reading about in the newspapers. I’m worried about the harvest. Rye is only now beginning to bloom. Hopefully you do not mind all of the old Schmalensee family heirlooms that we are we are sending you. After I die you will be receiving 2 rings that I always wear: a small ring with the coat of arms and the engagement ring from our parents, a snake with a large diamond. Hopefully these rings will be in your hands soon. You cannot imagine how I long to die and be reunited with my beloved husband. My longing for my husband is often too great to bear. He truly put me on a pedestal; I feel so alone and abandoned. I will soon be 69 years old, it can’t be too much longer for me. If I only had had children of my own, but unfortunately that wasn’t my fate. But now farewell, my dear brother, please take good care of yourself and give my regards to your loved ones and write soon.
Your very loving
sister, Clara
Wolkow, near Gr. Raddow,
January 4, 1926
My dear brother, Curt!
Your dear letter made me so very happy. It was a veritable Christmas present for me because it arrived here right on the 24th. Many thanks. Actually, I was rather sad because I hadn’t heard anything from you. I thought you had forgotten me entirely. But now I am quite reassured. I am glad that you are doing well. I am very interested in all that you write about your big family. It is so nice that they have all amounted to something and they have you to thank for it. It is such a pity that we cannot see each other in this life. How much joy have we missed out on as a result. Well, my dear Curt, in Heaven we will surely see each other again! You cannot imagine how I am longing to die to be reunited with my husband. He was so very good to me. It is such a shame that you didn’t get to know him. Such marital bliss rarely happens in life. Right now, life in Germany is just so sad. Everything is going bankrupt, no one has any money and you can’t even get rid of agricultural products. When my husband died eight years ago, I owned three estates. Because I placed no value on earthly possessions, I gave my estate to my nephew Blücher and his sister, Frau von Grünberg, children of my deceased husband’s brother. Now I don’t know if my nephew will be able to hold onto the estates and what will become of me. I haven’t received any money from him in more than two years, as we had agreed upon when I bestowed it to him. Fortunately, I still receive a small pension from the state, which I have thanks to my husband. But it is not enough to live off. Well, the dear Lord will not forsake me. I have actually been rather spoiled in this life and by my two husbands, and now I will be struggling in my old age. But I want to keep my chin up. My warmest congratulations to you on your birthday on the 15th. May you always fare quite well in this new year of life. Today, I had a long very satisfying letter from Blanca. She thanked me for my Christmas package, which seems to have pleased her very much. She at least has a home and people are good to her. We have had many cases of measles here. All the children were sick and my niece, who had it very badly, still keeps to her bed. It is really a terrible disease for adults. We have three little girls who are really very cute and a boy aged 11 years, who makes an effort to be rather naughty and moody, at which he also succeeds. I have nothing more to add here. I must put up with everything, and often it is not that easy, especially since I was so spoiled. If I had known how everything would end up, I wouldn’t have given away my estate. After the war, my nephew and his family had no home, so my good heart got the best of me. Well, that’s the way it is. The dear Lord will surely take care of me. I will probably not live much longer, as I am already 71 1/2 years old. I now suffer so much from my right arm, which is severely swollen. Nine years ago, my right breast was removed and the arm was always a bit swollen after that, but now it has gotten much worse. I am in a lot of pain. I just realized that I have complained a lot to you, please do not be angry. Give your wife and children my warmest regards. Sending you a heartfelt kiss,
your old sister, Clara
Wolkow by Radow, Pomerania
August 3, 1927
My dear brother, Curt!
How happy your letter made me, thank you very much for your kind wishes on my birthday. Your dear letter arrived here three days before the 7th. Also, thank you very much for the sweet pictures of your children and grandchildren. You can be proud of your offspring. I can imagine what joy you have in the children. Blanca is with us right now, which is so very nice for me. She is so agile in mind and body, but I, on the other hand, have been quite miserable. Walking has become very difficult for me with my swollen limbs. We reminisce a lot about the old days. It is so nice that you have someone you can talk with about your youth. We siblings didn’t have that much time together, everyone was scattered throughout the world. Well, we all will see each other again in Heaven. This is my firm belief. I would like to write to your son Fritz, but writing is so difficult for me with my swollen right arm. I write so indistinctly and am stuck for words. Greet him and his wife warmly for me. The four children are just too cute in the picture. You gave me such a vivid descriptionof your family in your letter. It is such a shame that I didn’t get to know them. Unfortunately, I could not have any children, but I lived very, very happily with my two husbands. I was terribly spoiled by them, especially by my last husband. Anna deserves to have peace and quiet. I think she left a very difficult life behind her. She had very little luck in her marriage. My family here is fine. My niece is kind and good to me. She is so sorry that I feel so poorly. My nephew is a hard-working person, I hope he will be able to keep the estate. These are difficult times for the farmers. It is harvest time here now. It has unfortunately rained a lot. Thank you very much for the newspaper which I received from you some time ago. Blanca sends you warm greetings, regards to your wife and children from us. Your sister embraces you in faithful love,
Clara
Wolkow, January 8, 1928
My dear brother, Curt!
How greatly was I pleased by your dear letter; I am very grateful for your love. My thoughts are with you so often, especially as the news about St. Louis was so horrifying. I would have liked to have written to you at the time, but I felt too miserable. Blanca sent me the letter you wrote her, which reassured me very much. How wonderfully the dear Lord has protected you. We cannot thank him enough for it. May He continue to protect you and yours in your new year of life. This I wish for you with all my heart. It’s so wonderful that you are still able to work, how I envy you. Work gets you through many a difficult hour. I feel this in particular now where I have become an old Kerpel*. Everything is so hard for me. I can hardly do any work anymore. Walking has become so horrible for me and I barely write anymore, as you can probably tell by my handwriting. For a few weeks I took salt baths and electric baths as per doctor’s orders, but I do not feel that the treatment helped me very much.
I don’t think it’s wise to take hot baths now that the weather is cold. I want to try a new treatment that has been highly recommended to me. The treatment is called Solemekur** and consists of a special type of oil that you must ingest and rubbing an oil for gout on your body. Well, I am willing to try anything to get back on my feet. What I really would like would be to lie in the cemetery*** next to my beloved husband. For me, to be reunited with him is the most beautiful thing I can think of. Luckily, Blanca is doing quite well, as she wrote to me a few days ago. I didn’t even know that your wife’s family is from Pomerania, which I found very interesting. What is the name of the place? My niece and nephew send you their regards. Jochen is struggling a great deal right now in the estate, but are all farmers right now. Many are not surviving. I’m so glad that I gave him the farm. My husband’s pension covers all that I need for my modest life. My regards to your wife and children. Sending you heartfelt greetings
Your sister, Clara
*No one knows what she meant with ‘Kerpel’, but that is definitely what she wrote.
**She clearly wrote ‘Solemekur’ referring to another treatment. No definition or translation could be found.
***She actually wrote “park”.